Ah, packing. The crutch of all travellers, always eager to be prepared for all occasions without enough space available to achieve their goal.
Especially if you’re me, such an accomplished procrastinator that (ignoring the constant reminders by my mother) I manage to always find myself packing no sooner than the day before departure.
I have heard about something called “planning”, however I can’t seem to grasp the concept and for some reason where I’m going, how many days I’m staying and what season it is have little to no influence on the content of my suitcase.
My method for packing is always the same and has become consistently more refined growing older. The most important point is: clothes come last, they are less important. You want to be sure to pack at least one book per day you’re away (and an e-book to be extra-sure), at least a couple of portable videogame consoles with more games than you can play in a month, as many shoes (if new and never used even better) that you think you might need and every single gadget that just happens to be lying around the house and might be useful (such as in one case: a TV monitor).
Once your suitcase is filled to the brim with these items, you can finally move on to clothing. This part is especially easy: just open each drawer and wardrobe, grab at least a couple of items randomly from each and somehow crush them into the already overpacked suitcase.
The last step is closing the suitcase; it is a fundamental step that tries to undermine the laws of physics and does when successful. You must sit on your suitcase and tug as hard as you can on the zip with a concentrated expression, begging the skies for assistance. If you fail this step, remove a single item of clothing and try again. Repeat until you are victorious.
One last thing: remember not to check for important items like chargers, headphones, passports and boarding passes until after leaving home.
Yours sincerely,
Dysfunctional Girl
How NOT to be functional 