Relief

She watched the droplets of water create concentric waves on the otherwise still water. The tears were slowly streaming down her cheeks, dripping down her wet chin. She sniffled and looked at the lake, vision blurred by tears. Sitting on the dock, she let her bare feet graze the freezing water; she instantly felt reassured by the numbness in her toes, a numbness so close to mimicking that which she felt in her soul. She didn’t let herself feel emotions, she was scared. Of what not even she could tell, but ever since she remembered she had always felt feelings differently from other people, as if a veil clouded her ability to perceive them fully.

Still, for some reason the tears kept rolling down.

The droplets of water could be observed sinking slowly into the seamlessly endless body of water. The tears sparkled, emitting a light that made them look as if they were glistening; rare and sincere manifestations of sadness. Sinking deeper, harder and harder to keep track of, these few moments of pureness vanished into nothingness, leaving no trace.

As she walked back to the car she chastised herself. She doesn’t cry. She doesn’t feel. She’s not allowed to let herself display emotions and she know that.

Nonetheless, for some reason, she felt slightly better.

Dysfunctional Girl