Well, the fact that I should be following my cinema lesson and am writing this post is indicative enough. I have always been quite a good student, at least academically. Thing is… I study at home. I have trouble remaining concentrated enough to actually fully follow all my classes. This, I know, is a very common problem, and I therefore present:
“The Beginners Guide on How to NOT Follow a Lesson“
1) Always find something to distract yourself with. In my case it’s not one, it’s many. Drawing was a constant all through high school, reading through middle school, rewriting notes and writing now in college. Whatever it may be for you, ALWAYS have a more fun alternative to immerge yourself in.
2) Don’t take notes. I actually do take notes, but I know many people with this issue (mainly because I’m usually the one who has to send them notes). When I’m in a really bad mood though, or completely distracted, I tend to skip it altogether and even if I always pass on my notes, people tend to be really possessive of theirs. Here starts the begging, it goes like this:
Me: “Can you please email me your notes?”
Other student: “I’m sorry, I can’t… I don’t have internet… (Insert other random excuse)”
This conversation is pretty much identical and repeats itself at least ten times before my knight (or Amazon) comes and saves me with a:
“Yeah, no problem. What’s your email?”
3) If you do take notes, do it so well that it can be considered pathologically obsessive. This happens to me quite often actually. I’m so concentrated on taking notes that I’m more interested in my notes than the actual class. I’ve actually had people say: “Stop taking this so seriously! It’s just one lesson!”. That never works, when I start taking notes this way I’ll risk biting your arm of if you try and stop me. I’m 100% positive that the world will end if I don’t write down every syllable pronounced by the professor. It’s hell.
4) Be friends with a funny person and sit next to him/her. I do this really often, it means you’ll spend the lesson ironically commenting it and holding in laughter. Of all the options this is my favourite, it’s great fun.
5) Learn how to stare off into nothing. It comes naturally to me, but when it happens in class it definitely helps me not follow. All you have to do is pick a random point, clear your head (or if you can’t, fixate on something in your head) and incessantly stare at that point with a dazed look. Not focusing your eyesight can help and prevent your eyes from burning. Don’t blink too much, it brings you away from your little world and risks bringing you back to reality.
6) If you smoke, think about how much a cigarette. In alternative, if it’s almost lunchtime (and you eat) think about how hungry you are. This one requires concentration, you must NOT think about anything else. When it starts driving you crazy, heads look like sigarette tips and people look like food, you’ve reached your objective. You will not be able to follow class anymore.
7) Be fidgety. Literally in any way. Move your hands, legs, use every break to go smoke (get a coffee, go to the bathroom etc… Whatever you like as long as you move), use every excuse to leave the classroom… You’ll definitely get distracted, lose pieces of the lesson and in general not follow well.
8) Be so agitated that you can’t follow. This brings us to the main problem I have with following classes. You have to be anxious about something, then fixate on it so much and become so nervous and upset that following is the last thing you can do. I can guarantee you a useless class and horrible experience.
I hope you fellow students enjoyed this post, join me at the Dysfunctionality Club!!
Yours sincerely,
Dysfunctional girl
How NOT to be functional 