As you may have noticed, I’ve been quite inactive online since my last post. Yesterday, I was planning on uploading the second part of Chapter 1, however a few things got in the way….
The day started okay, if you count not being able to handle the guilt from eating okay. I was nervous, very, however in a similar way to how I often am.
As planned, I went to therapy. The session was fine, as usual, an nothing happened, but when I finished… I was starting to be too nervous. Talking to me had become impossible, and I was driving my boyfriend crazy…
We got home. My mood didn’t change, we each started on our respective homework and that’s when disaster struck: I lost my PC’s charger.
I freaked out. Badly. Ran to school, didn’t find it, looked everywhere and gave up… I started crying and didn’t stop. I couldn’t, for hours, I wasn’t even able to go to my class in the afternoon. I was destraught. All this, over a charger…
Why? That’s what I’ve been asking myself since yesterday. Why? I have a theory…
It’s sad to say, but I feel that my computer is my life. Where everything outside is chaotic: school, social interactions, work, bank account… All these elements I feel I can’t control… They are all magically ordered and filed on my laptop.
I felt the chaos, the feeling of not being in control… I can’t be sure, but I think that’s why I freaked.
Either way, I feel better. I’m in class, I can follow, I feel calmer. I hope it was just a really bad day….
Part 2 of Chapter 1 will be up tomorrow, as soon as Amazon drops of the new charger. I’m sorry for the delay.
Yours sincerely,
Dysfunctional Girl
How NOT to be functional 