These last few months have been tough, very. When you have a psychiatric disorder you like your external world stable, espescially since your inner existence is so screwed up.
I live in Italy. The lockdown was long, really long (about three months to be precise). Of course, dysfunctional as I am, I did NOT deal with it properly. In any way.
Here follow four very simple steps that can ensure a miserable lockdown, enjoy!
- Procrastinate. This is important, probably the most important of all. Theoretically, you’ve never had so much free time in your life. It’s great to have objectives, reading lists and want to catch up on all you would have liked to do but didn’t have the time to. Well…. Don’t. You have a lot of time on your hands, an extra day of relax won’t make a difference. Will it?Probably not… until it’s ten days later and you still haven’t managed to do anything.
- Be depressed. There are many ways to do this, but my personal favourite is quite simple: lie in bed doing nothing. With nothing I mean absolutely nothing, if not staring into blank void. I guarantee that if this method is practiced for weeks on end you will be feeling quite miserable.
- Panic. The world is going crazy, nothing makes sense and quite honestly, it’s the perfect time to panic. You’re even justified in doing so, just read the news. Actually, reading the news is a great way to start panicking. A couple of hours in the morning before getting out of bed (if you get out of bed) and you’re good to go.
- Be irritable. To be utterly miserable, you’re going to have to fight, and that’s very easy when confined in close quarters with other people, whether partner, parents or friends. Remember, you must be on edge. The tinies thing has to be able to send you into a spiral of rage capable of blowing up an entire continent.
- Think about everything you hate about yourself. Of course, with this I mean think about it: not change it. It will bring to tortuous thoughts about your self-worth.
If you follow these steps, you are guaranteed an absolutely horrible lockdown! Enjoy your misery!
Yours sincerely,
Dysfunctional Girl
How NOT to be functional 