Stress, stress and more stress

I’m in a moment of my life where I feel an enourmous amount of stress piling up and really feel the need to vent, so here it goes:

1. I don’t feel in touch with my emotions, as if the stress were suffocating them. I’ll feel vaguely sad or happy, but feeling them this way just contributes to me feeling more stressed. It’s a vicious cycle;
2. I have Borderline Personality Disorder and after a very stressful lockdown, my boyfriend left saying he needed a break until exams. I understand his point of view, I was very unwell and suffocating, but I also feel hurt and am having to deal with being alone after a year of always being with him. Adapting is hard and this is very stressful;
3. I myself have exams in a week and, as you’ve probably read in other posts, am not dealing with the anxiety properly;
4. I’m trying to cut down on sigarettes and it hasn’t been easy;
5. I’m trying to be less explosive with my parents (and it’s working), but it’s very hard on me;
6. I’m having difficulty eating pretty much anything and am constantly riddled by thoughts about weight or food.

This is not to whine, as I said before, I just needed to vent. I hope you’re all better off and, especially, calmer.

Yours sincerely,

Dysfunctional Girl