I’m a very anxious person and often get into fights with my parents and boyfriend over insignificant things. I make A LOT of mistakes which I will now into this guide. I hereby present: How NOT to Fight.
- Lose control. This is important. You have to make sure that you are not feeling in control of yourself and your emotions are taking over. If you have control, the next steps will be harder;
- Scream. Scream, scream, scream and do it a lot. It doesn’t really matter if what you’re saying is coherent, you just need to be loud to the point where everybody wishes you would just shut up;
- Step three has two declinations, one if you’re coherent and one if you’re not. Let’s start with the first: if you’re coherent you have to fixate on something you’re mad about and keep on harping on that, no matter what is said on the other side. If you’re not coherent, random words of hatte and a general mix of “I hate you” and insults should be enough;
- Feel guilty. This is when the screaming stops, you realize how irrational you’ve been and you hate yourself for it. Really concentrate on how much you hurt the person you were fighting with and how mean you were, it really helps the guilt.
- Start crying incontrollably. This is a consequence of the guilt. Hate yourself, and while you do so, put the other person in a position where you’ve both insulted them and need comfort. It’s not a nice position to be in;
- Calm down. Finally, it has to end at some point. Once done crying and letting your emotions loose, you can calm down.
Yours sincerely,
Dysfunctional Girl
How NOT to be functional 