Author: DysfunctionalGirl

You can find most of this information in the introduction and much more will be revealed through my posts however I will give a brief intro. I am 19, have been suffering from severe mental health issues since 10 and am writing this blog both because I love writing and also because it is a way for me to express myself. Unfortunately I still suffer strongly from anorexia, self-harm, anxiety issues, insomnia and depression. This blog offers me a place of my own to do what is so hard for me in my life: show people who I, and not the diseases, really am.

Healing

I haven't written in a while. Honestly, when my boyfriend broke up with me, I was heartbroken. I passed a lot of days in bed feeling lonely and depressed and lost a lot of my will to live, it was as if a spark had been turned off. This is why I didn't write, I … Continue reading Healing →

Heartbroken

Unexpected;A fracture in my worn out heart.I'm falling apart;Drowning in an ocean of my own tears. Disconnected;My mind is nowhere to be found.I'm falling apart;Torturous thoughts ringing in my ears. Rejected;Focused on my wound.I'm falling apart;Hoping there's someone who cares. Reflected;In the mirror.Reduced to a shadow of my pain and loss. Bleeding Heart Yours sincerely, … Continue reading Heartbroken →

I haven’t written in a while…

I was on holiday with my boyfriend... Now ex-boyfriend. I'm honestly not sure what happened, I found a note in his phone saying he was thinking of breaking up with me when the holidays where over... I called my mom crying, the holidays where cut short and we broke up. I'm heartbroken. I feel empty … Continue reading I haven’t written in a while… →

What it means to have BPD – a poem, James Jameson

During the course of my research for my last post, I came across a fellow sufferer who wrote a beautiful poem about how he feels. With his permission, I'm posting it here on my blog, alongside his introduction: "I write lyrics and make songs to Express how I feel and well this is it for … Continue reading What it means to have BPD – a poem, James Jameson →

What does it mean to have BPD? – a collective answer

I wrote a post on what it means to me to have BPD, however it isn't the same for everybody. The last month I have been collecting answers to this very question and this post is the result of my research. Remember, BPD is a serious disability that can ruin people's lives and should be … Continue reading What does it mean to have BPD? – a collective answer →

Holidays!

I'm on holiday with my parents and it's been going well. I got a chance to windsurf, sail and see beautiful Tuscan sites. One of the aforementioned beautiful sites! I was a little bit worried about my eating patterns, but relaxing has allowed me to ease off my diet scheme a little and be more … Continue reading Holidays! →

Change and fear

I'm going through massive life changes right now and though I see a lot of positive, I also feel confused and scared. This short excerpt from a short story describes my confusion and sense of loss. Truth be told, I'm scared of losing myself and becoming someone else. I'm drowning. Algae are suffocating me, pulling … Continue reading Change and fear →

Chronic feelings of emptiness…

I try to fill my time. I'll do almost anything to not feel alone and empty because I know that puts me in panic mode... It doesn't matter. Whether I'm drawing, gaming, writing, watching TV or other, there comes a time of day where I feel overwhelmed by emptiness. It's very frustrating. Sometimes I'll even … Continue reading Chronic feelings of emptiness… →

Anorexia isn’t a Choice

How do you explain that not eating isn't a choice but a necessity? I've already tried explaining that the fear is too great, as is the guilt, but people still seem to not understand. It's like standing at the very top of a cliff you want to jump off. You may be afraid of the … Continue reading Anorexia isn’t a Choice →

Step into the light

Just a quick sketch to remind myself that there is always hope. Yours sincerely, Dysfunctional Girl