TW for ED's. She could feel the numbness taking over. Usually, one can assume absence of anger is a good sign. Nonetheless, she tried to concentrate on how his attention wasn't on her and winced in frustration when it solicited no response. It wasn't selfish, she didn't want to get angry and lash out; it … Continue reading Spiralling
As of right now I realize that this is a particularly hot topic which is why I decided to publish this article. With the protests going on in the United States (and not only), there is a lot of attention oriented towards police violence, abuse of power and racial discrimination. Unfortunately, spraying tear gas on … Continue reading Black lives matter: and so does their mental health
This is how I felt during most of the lockdown. Empty, without the will to even get out of bed. Never have I spent so many hours gazing into nothingness. It was horrible... Dysfunctional Girl
The past and (in some countries) current lockdowns have generated various mental health issues. Rates of depression, anxiety and paranoia are sky high, even in those who don't usually suffer from mental illness. This is not my case: well, I struggled a lot so it is, but I have a pre-existing condition which completely blew … Continue reading Surviving a Lockdown with BPD, relationship issues: dependency
These last few months have been tough, very. When you have a psychiatric disorder you like your external world stable, espescially since your inner existence is so screwed up. I live in Italy. The lockdown was long, really long (about three months to be precise). Of course, dysfunctional as I am, I did NOT deal … Continue reading How NOT to Survive a Lockdown
A little message to all who are struggling with a relapse.
If you're suffering: get help. I did this morning, it worked.
The cold wind sent shivers up her spine. She did not feel at ease, anxiety increasing with every small step. She knew she was being paranoid, it was unlikely for anything to happen. She couldn’t ignore them though, the small voices of her parents revolting in her mind; warning her repeatedly that walking through a … Continue reading Descent into a Maze of Darkness
I close my eyes and I let my thoughts wander. I'm smiling, running through a field of lilies. I can sense the air around me, the beauty of the sun brightly shining on the field, making the dry grass glisten; the fresh smell of spring engulfing me in its embracing wrap; the sound of water … Continue reading My Happy Place
I'm feeling lost, cold. My head is spinning, causing me to keep my eyes sealed shut. Curled up in bed, I'm listening: every note reverberating in my mind, filling my soul with it's melody. It's relaxing, somehow soothing me from the inside. I let my body rock to the slow rhythm of violins and piano, … Continue reading The Power of Music
How NOT to be functional 