How do you explain that not eating isn't a choice but a necessity? I've already tried explaining that the fear is too great, as is the guilt, but people still seem to not understand. It's like standing at the very top of a cliff you want to jump off. You may be afraid of the … Continue reading Anorexia isn’t a Choice
As you may have noticed, I've been quite inactive online since my last post. Yesterday, I was planning on uploading the second part of Chapter 1, however a few things got in the way.... The day started okay, if you count not being able to handle the guilt from eating okay. I was nervous, very, … Continue reading A really bad day…
Now, this happens to be an incredibly sensible topic. First off: I am in no way pro-Anorexia or pro-Bulimia and greatly dislike these groups, which makes writing a guide on how NOT to eat sound almost appalling to me. I will however try, since I believe some useful information can come out of it if … Continue reading How NOT To Eat – Eating Disorders
Ever since school has started, I have been (not so slowly) slipping down that usual path which always brings me to hospitalization. First, it's not eating breakfast. Then lunch, or any meal where you aren't home. Then the meals where you are home… and so on, until I'm not eating anything, fainting randomly and just … Continue reading Fighting Back!
If you're suffering: get help. I did this morning, it worked.
A few days ago I wrote a post about the fear of change. This is because, over the last few days, I was overwhelmed by the thought of who I would be and what would remain of me without the eating disorder. It is always nice to imagine being healthy when you're so far away … Continue reading Leap of faith
My trip in New York city has begun! I must say, it did get off to a pretty rough start. There aren't many occasions in which long flights and travel days are pleasant, but when they happen to coincide with not being able to smoke and being in close proximity with two people you love, … Continue reading New York City! A very long plane ride…
This was written to try and express my thought processes as I fell into this trap and relapsed over and over again. Unfortunately it was a very heartfelt piece. --- She's telling me she knows how to fix me. She's whispering into my ear, sweet words of hope. She's promising numbness, absence of pain. She's … Continue reading Anorexia: whisperings
How NOT to be functional 