I have huge problems staying by myself. It's mainly connected to my borderline personality disorder, bit also a pain. I wish I could be more autonomous and am working on it. I hope to manage but, in the meantime, I present the guide on How NOT to Stay Alone. 1. Be anxious. Make sure your … Continue reading How NOT to Manage being Alone
I have exams in a little over a week and though I already wrote a "How NOT to Study" post, I now feel the need to explain some of the mistakes I realize I'm making. First of all, I'm exhausted. To the point where by the end of the day I can't even watch TV … Continue reading How NOT to Study – Reprise
You’re weak. Punish yourself. The voice in my head was giving off the first signs of a psychotic break. I couldn’t ignore it, it was too strong and insistent. I had to act; I couldn’t control it. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed the razor. Bringing it to my forearm, I started my daily … Continue reading Tandem (Short Story)
Sometimes you can't plan everything. I like walking places, but not being alone and often try to make plans so that I arrive right on time to meet someone walking there. Of course, many things can go wrong. Today I had plans with two friends: one cancelled last minute, the other arrived an hour late. … Continue reading Yesterday I didn’t give in… We can do it
Panicking is the natural result of anxiety. Imagine a fibonacci spiral, at the beginning you have the seeds of anxiety. Let's say these seeds proceed and manage to complete a whole three cycles, you are therefore three cycles closer to panic and feel three times more anxious... and so on. At a certain point (for … Continue reading How NOT to NOT Panic
I call it agony because I myself don't know how to define it. Short breath, a pressing feeling on my chest suffocating me; the feeling of hopelessness, kind of. A feeling so devastating it wracks my body, leaving me feeling somehow emotionally splintered. My muscles feel heavy, moving is out of question, as if the … Continue reading Agony
As of right now I realize that this is a particularly hot topic which is why I decided to publish this article. With the protests going on in the United States (and not only), there is a lot of attention oriented towards police violence, abuse of power and racial discrimination. Unfortunately, spraying tear gas on … Continue reading Black lives matter: and so does their mental health
As often happens, I was assigned a group project by a professor who is, in my opinion, more dysfunctional than I am. This project makes no sense to me and I would be lying if I said I weren't panicking, a lot. I usually write how NOT to guides, but in this case I myself … Continue reading How to Deal with Anxiety over a Project
We were engulfed by the swirling halo of smoke from our cigarettes, slowly dissolving into nothingness. The sky was grey; the bleak horizon seemed to wash out all colours, leaving me with an ominous feeling in my chest. “Tell me you story.” He observed me carefully, eyes suspicious. I could feel his anxiety and watched … Continue reading Suffering
It is currently 11,45 PM, I've taken all my sleeping medication, yet I can't seem to fall asleep. Don't get me wrong, I feel exhausted and would wish for nothing more than a good night's sleep, but unfortunately this isn't the case and as soon as I put my head on the pillow I'm overwhelmed … Continue reading Sleeping… Or absence of such
How NOT to be functional 