A few days ago I wrote a post about the fear of change. This is because, over the last few days, I was overwhelmed by the thought of who I would be and what would remain of me without the eating disorder. It is always nice to imagine being healthy when you're so far away … Continue reading Leap of faith
My trip in New York city has begun! I must say, it did get off to a pretty rough start. There aren't many occasions in which long flights and travel days are pleasant, but when they happen to coincide with not being able to smoke and being in close proximity with two people you love, … Continue reading New York City! A very long plane ride…
Hello Dysfunctionality club! Though I have kept you slightly updated with the last few posts, I am officially starting the blog again! These months have been quite complicated: I have had to (and still am working on it) confront some of my greatest demons, even those so well hidden I myself didn't realize confronting them … Continue reading I’m back!
Many things have happened in my life recently, positive and negative. I have felt happiness, more hope than ever and have a great desire to finally beat this illness. I am also writing a book, about the emotions I feel, have felt and how they have influenced my life. This is what I will work … Continue reading Be back soon! Keep the dysfunctionality club going!
I try to think about my future. My head starts spinning, I'm quickly getting confused and my heart starts beating rapidly. I imagine happiness, college, a husband, children, a life… And that is what I truly wish for, but the images are fading and others come into light. Hospital beds, rehab, feeding tubes, treatment plans… … Continue reading Fear
This was written to try and express my thought processes as I fell into this trap and relapsed over and over again. Unfortunately it was a very heartfelt piece. --- She's telling me she knows how to fix me. She's whispering into my ear, sweet words of hope. She's promising numbness, absence of pain. She's … Continue reading Anorexia: whisperings
As you may have noticed, I haven't written in a few days and though that is due to my dysfunctionality, this time there were more profound personal reasons why and I would like to share some of them with you. The time will come where I will share more about my life but for now … Continue reading You are NEVER alone
The cold wind sent shivers up her spine. She did not feel at ease, anxiety increasing with every small step. She knew she was being paranoid, it was unlikely for anything to happen. She couldn’t ignore them though, the small voices of her parents revolting in her mind; warning her repeatedly that walking through a … Continue reading Descent into a Maze of Darkness
I welcome you to part two of this post, if you haven't already read the first go check it out! What I want to discuss today is reading lists, the very reason why so many books I want to and am sincerely interested in reading remain forgotten and unread. It all stems from the fact … Continue reading How NOT to Read – Part 2 (reading lists)
This one here is an easy one. One technique that many teenagers/young adults (with and before me) have mastered through years of experience and leaving things as messy as possible. Often this was out of pure spite towards their mother's constant nagging telling them to “Clean your room! You live under my roof and I … Continue reading How NOT to Clean your Room
How NOT to be functional 