How NOT to Read – part 1 (rules)

I absolutely adore reading, in fact it is probably one of my favourite activities and has been since the day I learnt that a few random letters strung together on a page formed words. This though is where my obsessive personality comes in, with a small touch of OCD. I have rules when it comes to reading, MANY rules.

Here is my ruleset on how I must read (or, faithful to the title, how NOT to read):

Rule 1. You must always finish a book. Any book, no matter how long and boring it may be. I once remember reading a piece of trash pretending to be a novel that I detested. It was over seven hundred pages long and I hated every single word of each page with all my heart. To this day I remember that novel as one of my worst experiences (and trust me, that’s a hard list to make). Nonetheless, the rule remains the same and I must always finish a book.

Rule 2. You must never stop reading before the end of a chapter. I can be exhausted to the point where I have to read every single letter of a word three times before managing to understand it (with toothpicks keeping my eyes open), yet if I haven’t finished the chapter I cannot abandon the book. Even if I have to leave for an appointment risking to be late, I’d rather risk my life reading while walking (I have actually done this many times) down the street than put the book down too early.

Rule 3. You must never stop reading if the chapter ends on an even page. I realise how utterly ridiculous this is, yet this is how it is and I can’t seem to get over this annoying habit. It bothers me so much that I just stick to it and have long given up on trying to understand why. It’s just how it has to be, no other possibilities.

Rule 4. The book must be finished as soon as possible. And when I say as soon as possible, I really mean it. I am a very… intense… reader. If a book is under three hundred pages I have to finish it in a day. If it’s over three hundred, two then. And this isn’t even a problem because I often have enormous problems putting books down once started! I get so absorbed in what I’m reading I can read for hours on end and hate any attempt from others to return me to the world of the living. Even my friends know that sometimes I disappear for weeks simply because I got into a new series of novels and give up on calling me. This is another case in which I can be spotted reading absolutely EVERYWHERE. You’ve got to love books!

I also have a very big problem with reading lists (and many lists in general). That will be what the second part of this post is going to be about so come back tomorrow for more! Hope you enjoyed. Yours sincerely,

Dysfunctional Girl